


Things You Wished You Could Say

by JUST_NO_ONE



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/M, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 11:55:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28742844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JUST_NO_ONE/pseuds/JUST_NO_ONE
Summary: Spencer tells Reader his true feelings, even though it’s already too late.
Relationships: Spencer Reid/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	Things You Wished You Could Say

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Came up with the idea one day, shared it on Discord with other writers who thought it was a good idea. I was inspired by I Will Follow You into the Dark by Death Cab for Cutie. I also took some inspiration from 15x02. 
> 
> Warnings: Death

Each member of the team had come in and out of your hospital room for what seemed like hours at this point. All of them were saying how sorry they were and recounted their favorite moments with you. 

The only person who  hadn’t yet was Spencer, your best friend,  probably wanted to save the best for last or something. He was the first friend you had made on the team; besides Penelope, he always managed to make you smile and was easy to talk to. Those were one of the many things that you loved about him, that made you love him. 

“Hi Y/N.” Spencer said as he sat down in the chair next to your hospital bed. “I-I don’t exactly know how to go about doing this, you and I both know that I’ve never had too before, but I am going to try so bear with me here.”   
  
You can hear the sadness in his voice, you want to reach out to him and tell him that it's going to be okay, but you can’t because something is stopping you. 

“I keep thinking about that moment over in my head, and I just can’t stop how I should’ve been there to stop it. I’m so sorry.” You hear him say.

It’s not his fault, you wish you could tell him that.

“There are so many things that I wish I could’ve said, I was just so afraid that things between us would become weird if I had.” He pauses and you can hear him sniffling. “But now, all of that stuff no longer matters. The only thing that matters is that somehow, we find a way to get you better so that you can wake up and I can have more time with you. I just can’t imagine my life without you in it.”

You felt him grab your hand and wrap it securely in his. 

“I love you, Y/N, I love you so much. I’m sorry that I was too much of a coward to say it before, but I was so scared to say it before.”   
  
Oh god, why couldn’t you wake up? You want to wake up and tell him that you feel the same way. You want to kiss him, go on dates, get married, have children, and grow old together, you want to have a normal life with him. But you can’t, and it's unfair to the both of you.

“I wish you could tell me how you felt, I’ll understand if you don’t feel the same way, I just wanted you to know before you die.” He pauses again, presumably to wipe his tears away. “I-If you want to go, you can, you don’t have to stay for me.”

You feel him kiss your forehead, one of his tears drops on your skin. He pulls away and sits back down in the chair.   
  
A part of you doesn’t want to go, but there’s another that is telling you that you should, and that everything will be okay. You’ve been told that dying is like falling asleep, a dream with no dreams. 

And just like that, the sounds from the monitor shift to one long beep, signaling your tragic end. 

Spencer sits there in a moment of shock before he places his head on the bed and sobs.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This took a bit of time for me to write, mostly because I was trying to figure out the best way to do it and some title changes. I was also a bit nervous that this wouldn’t be sad enough, but luckily for me I recently got a beta who said it was good.
> 
> Anyway I hope you all enjoyed it!


End file.
